What's the difference between vodka and water?
"It's not a con job," says Alex Kammerling
Published: (26-02-2008)
Author: Graham Holter
They've always looked the same. But now, as Graham Holter discovers, vodka and water are luring big-spending consumers with similar marketing tactics.
What's the difference between luxury vodka and premium mineral water? One is a flavourless, colourless liquid that relies on clever marketing to sustain an inflated price point, and the other is - oh. Right.
Vodka has always induced drinks trade observers to raise a single, quizzical eyebrow. On one hand, this is an industry which boasts about Burgundy that stinks of poo and malt whiskies so pungent that some breach the terms of the Geneva Convention. On the other, it expects consumers to delight in the prospect of a neutral spirit that tastes and smells of precisely nothing.
"You might as well be selling water," the cynics sneer. Well, wait a minute. Water isn't quite as straightforward as it used to be. Not since it became more expensive than beer in some British supermarkets, or since Claridge's introduced a water menu for its well-heeled clientele.
"Fine water is very popular in celebrity circles ," explains Fine Water Imports, an American business capitalising on the public's fascination with water. "I t is hip to be seen with a glass full of sparkling or flat fine water at one's table because it implies that you have cleaned up your act."
Both categories are experiencing solid growth. Vodka sales in the UK rose 5 per cent in 2007 and eclipse whisky in all its forms. The most recent stats for water, compiled by Zenith, point to a 5.8 per cent sales increase and suggest more is to come. Britons currently swig a mere 38 litres of bottled water a year, way behind the European average of 110 litres.
With so much in common, it's not surprising water has borrowed marketing ideas from vodka: the packaging, in some cases, is virtually indistinguishable. Both are categories in which it is possible to obtain a perfectly respectable product for next to nothing. A bottle of Glen's will set you back around £7 and tap water is free in bars and restaurants.
So why do people pay more and what do they get for their money?
Alex Kammerling, a bartender and journalist who now acts as a brand ambassador for Grey Goose, is well placed to justify vodka's position.
"There's obviously a lot of marketing," he accepts, "but then there is with all products. There are some brands that are just completely fictional and talk about how many times they're distilled. Some brands clearly haven't had much time or thought put into them because it is possible to produce vodka quickly and cheaply.
"It's just a case of spending time and money to get the best result you can. Grey Goose uses French wheat, we have a master blender, we use artesian water ... these are key factors that make it taste better. It's not a con job."
Kammerling has sometimes railed against the craze for ever-weirder filtration processes, which have the net effect of stripping out flavour rather than adding it. Water is having a similar debate. Is it better to harvest the product directly from a spring, from a glacier or from the sea? Is a chalk aquifer a better option than volcanic rock? Do you want those minerals in or out?
The Claridge's water menu is better put together than many wine lists. Disappointingly, and contrary to the excitable mythology that has emerged from that part of Mayfair, there is no "water sommelier", though waiters have been trained to understand the differences between the 30 available waters, which start at £5 for a bottle of Hildon and go all the way up to £50 a litre for 420 Volcanic.
Claridge's PR director Gill Christophers says: "One day a guest asked for iceberg water and we simply didn't know what they were talking about. Within an hour our food and beverages director was talking to Alaska. He did considerable research for six months and found hundreds of waters.
"We've always refused to do a blind tasting and we're trying not to be too silly about this, but if you taste four waters in a row you can taste a definite difference."
Christophers reports that 20 per cent of guests continue to opt for tap water rather than the exotic fare on the list, with some expressing surprise at the prices and the environmental ethics of transporting drinking water across continents (though she defends the green credentials of Claridge's water suppliers).
"Certainly the packaging is beautiful," she adds, "but I don't specifically see the vodka connection. W e found that many of the waters had been around a long, long time . Britain is catching up."
Kammerling says the vodka-water comparison is only partially valid. "There are certain vodka brands that look like water and some waters that look like vodka. You need to be a connoisseur to recognise the differences between waters. Most people who walk into a restaurant or bar and ask for a bottle of water generally don't get offered a choice. If they sell Voss, you get Voss, and £5 appears on your bill."
Vodka, too, is rarely asked for by name, unless you're in one of the UK's trendier night spots. But even Dale DeGroff, acclaimed by some as the US 's top mixologist and the man behind America's meanest cosmopolitan, acknowledges that vodka is legally defined as "tasteless, odourless and colourless" and essentially it's an image thing. "You are buying the bottle," he says. "You're buying the sexiness. You're buying the whole package."
The vodka debate has even engaged Steven D Levitt, whose Freakonomics bestseller encourages readers to appreciate the economic phenomena that occur in everyday life. A reader of his New York Times column wrote in to ask why there are so many new vodka brands being launched and so few apparent barriers to entry. How come this didn't appear to happen as often with more flavoursome spirits , such as rum?
"One possible explanation that comes to mind is that all vodkas basically taste the same, whereas brands of other alcohols are more distinctive," Levitt responded. "If the early rum entrants either found the best formulas, or warped consumer tastes to want their formulas, then it would be hard for new brands to break into the rum market.
"In support of this theory, a quick scanning of online vodka taste tests, that were done blind, seems to suggest that there is no consensus on what the best tasting vodkas are.
"My best guess as to the real explanation is that everyone is just a copycat - as evidenced by the fact that there are so many online blind taste tests for vodka . One original-thinking person comes up with the idea to market fancy vodka, it works, and then everyone else tries to sell his own brand of fancy vodka."
But Kammerling feels the days of "me too" premium vodkas are over. "I think 10 years ago you could have made a fortune. But now consumers and bartenders are so sceptical and it's really come to saturation point. They cannot be bothered with another vodka. There are enough products on the market now to cover all the bases and there is so much education and training now."
In other words, the impact of a new vodka launch will be watered down. Meanwhile, it appears that new premium waters are still succeeding by being, well, vodkad up.
A taste for the finer things in life?
Some cheeky little vodkas to raise your spirits ...
Trump 24K
You've heard of triple distilled and pot-still distilled. This vodka is "success distilled" . Launched by the eponymous New York tycoon last November at the Millionaires' Fair in partnership with Drinks Americas, the $200 spirit is produced in Holland and features
24-carat gold on its label. Obviously.
Kauffman Luxury Collection Russian Vintage Vodka
Don't expect to find this one on the back bar at Wetherspoons. It's distilled 14 times - something all civilised people surely agree is essential these days - and produced only with the cereal of a single harvest. If you can track it down, it's $240 a litre.
Shaw-Ross Gold Flakes Vodka
This vodka, launched last year in the American market, is quadruple distilled using clear underground spring water. And there are bits of gold floating in the bottle . Shaw-Ross consumers, happily pay $60 a bottle for this French-produced spirit and presumably shake it in front of poorer neighbours.
D iva
Remember the good old days when whisky came with free Runrig CDs ? Diva takes the noble tradition of the on-pack offer and adapts it into an in-pack offer. The vodka is filtered through crushed diamonds and gemstones, and to prove it Blackwood Distillers gives you examples in a column in the middle of the bottle. Go for the cheapie option and you'll pay the everyday low price of £2,000. Stipulate some rarer gems and you'll be charged £540,000.
Diaka
Yes, the bottle is made of crystals, but it's the filtration process that mak es Diaka one of the world's priciest vodkas. The rye-based spirit is filtered over nearly 100 diamonds of up to one carat in size to create a spirit "of unsurpassed clarity and smoothness". It's produced in Poland by the distiller responsible for Chopin vodka and only available through TransBorder Spirits of New York.
... and some water to drown your sorrows
Bling H20
A packaged water costing £30? Well, you do get to keep the 75cl frosted bottle studded with Swarovski crystals, which must make a lovely vase. Bling is made from a collection of molecules containing two hydrogen atoms bonded to a single atom of oxygen. This particular H20 comes from natural springs in Tennessee and is produced with a nine-step purification process .
10 Thousand BC
There's something vaguely eerie about the boast of having been "locked in an icy vault for over 10,000 years" . But the claim for this £15-a-bottle British Columbian water is that, since it has not been filtered through the ground, its molecules remain untainted by "dissolved solids and organic particles such as rocks, sand, metals, chemicals and underground pollutants".
MaHaLo Hawaii Deep Sea Water
Yes, this really is sea water. It spends up to 2,000 years flowing from the North Atlantic under the glaciers of Greenland and into the deep channels of the Pacific. From there it is piped to the US 's 50th state. "Koyo USA has created new technology to gently filter out the excess sea salt, while maintaining the essential minerals," according to the supplier, adding it is "safe from surface pollutants caused by industry, farming, chemicals or human waste".
Just Born Spring Drops
This Indian water is on the Claridge's menu with a £21 price tag, though it's primarily marketed at "new born babies, children, pregnant and lactating mothers, and elderly persons", according to the website. Its USP: it's very low in minerals. It starts out as rain on the 6,500ft Nilgiris Mountain and filters through the rocks.
Finé
You know how some waters clash violently with sushi? It's one of the 21st century's big talking points. Finé, fresh from Japan, gets around that problem thanks to its sweetness, which it owes to its pH balance and silica. The 72cl bottle is modelled on the traditional sake vessel and is yours for £15 in Claridge's.